In the article on my front page, I've already said that I feel very proud of myself for my discipline and stamina that have gotten me past 25,000 words yesterday. It makes me believe I can do this - I can 'win' this NaNoWriMo and get to 50K and it won't even take me the entire month. Which is good news, trust me, because I have deadlines to keep and a child to pay attention to. Which is, once more, why I'm so darn proud of myself already. (Someone's gotta be.)

What begins to dawn on me, however, is that making the 50K within a decent number of days doesn't seem to be much of a problem anymore right now. I can totally make that and then continue with my current translation (which needs to be handed in at the end of the month). The thing is... I'm beginning to doubt that 50,000 words will be enough for this tale. And right now I find it difficult to estimate whether it's a matter of 60K, closer to 80K, slightly more or a lot more than that. Which makes it hard...

...to conjecture when the actual story will be finished in a first draft sense of the word. Because I also realise that it needs editing. I'm constantly worried about my plot as it is, and I'm sure it needs extra tweaking to make it more clever, maybe even more thrilling or less predictable. Or maybe it just looks predictable to me because I know the outcome?

The story isn't set in stone, but the foundations are there and I can just focus on writing. My inner editor is surprisingly docile and only keeps an eye out for things that don't add up or need to be altered slightly. So far so good. Still, I've already changed some of the final 'chapters' and I keep wondering whether what I have now is good enough. Yes, the nagging doubts are taking hold.

For instance, having reached 25,000 words has had me wonder if this segment, that could be anything from 9 to 13 chapters, is exciting enough. Does it keep a reader interested or am I harping on the same thing too long? I want my backgrounds and motives to be clear, I want my reader to look through my character's eyes and discover the truth right along with her.

But there's a lot going on in those 25,000 words already. Various plot strands are either developing, being developed or are set up for a few chapters onwards. I'm even realising that the paranormal elements I started out with in my head are fading more and more, even though that plot line is still waiting to be written into it, a few days from now.

Maybe it's too much. Maybe it's just right, in the end. Maybe the various plots aren't what I need to worry about. Maybe it's the Big Finish I have in mind. Right now it's not really Big. I'm wondering if it might not border on the predictable or even if it isn't, it could still be rather anticlimactic. Although I'm also not sure if there even is a climax to speak of (yet).

So yes, lots and lots of editing to do in the future. Whenever time allows me to tinker on it again.